Food today...
Slim fast shake
Yogurt
Orange
Trail mix
Water
Mini Butterfingers (3)
Lean cuisuine
Coke Zero
Sugar free pudding cup
Annie's mac n' cheese
Mixed veggies with a sprinkle of grated parmesan
Crystal light iced tea
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
RANT
Ok so I wrote this last night in the wrong blog...
"Start rant.I know it shouldn't bother me as much as it does, and I really thought I had come to a good place with it, but it does bother me, and I am definitely not in a good place.I feel gross. I'm so much heavier and jigglier than I used to be. I'm lumpy and bumpy and I feel so unnattractive right now. I know it's not as bad is it could be and I realize I'm not an ugly person, but still, I can't find jeans... I search for that small selection of my size (whatever size that is because I certainly can't find it! Maybe it's awkwardly shaped size?) while these little stylish girls pick out little things here and there. I mean, really thin girls are gross, but I don't want to be really thin, I just don't want to wiggle in places that should not move. I don't want an ideal place to off-road to be on my back fat rolls. I would prefer that my thighs not look like the surface of some distant planet. Seriously, my legs are HUGE. Ahh and I don't want to be "that girl" who thinks about her weight and that's it. But - I seriously need to get in shape.As soon as the warm weather comes I am going to be walking all the time. Really. AND from now on I am going to journal EVERYTHING I eat in this blog. That's right, everyone will be able to see what I am eating. Maybe that will keep me from eating CRAP.The thing is this.. there will always be cupcakes, and ice cream, and candy. I don't need to eat it just because it is there. SO - I won't, because if I want to be able to feel confident that's what needs to happen. End rant. "
Well.... I joined the gym tonight. It's a good idea. I have a three month membership, so I can get myself to where I want to be and when summer rolls around I can do things outdoors like walk and sports and stuff... and when the cold weather comes back I can sign up for three more months... I shall update.....
"Start rant.I know it shouldn't bother me as much as it does, and I really thought I had come to a good place with it, but it does bother me, and I am definitely not in a good place.I feel gross. I'm so much heavier and jigglier than I used to be. I'm lumpy and bumpy and I feel so unnattractive right now. I know it's not as bad is it could be and I realize I'm not an ugly person, but still, I can't find jeans... I search for that small selection of my size (whatever size that is because I certainly can't find it! Maybe it's awkwardly shaped size?) while these little stylish girls pick out little things here and there. I mean, really thin girls are gross, but I don't want to be really thin, I just don't want to wiggle in places that should not move. I don't want an ideal place to off-road to be on my back fat rolls. I would prefer that my thighs not look like the surface of some distant planet. Seriously, my legs are HUGE. Ahh and I don't want to be "that girl" who thinks about her weight and that's it. But - I seriously need to get in shape.As soon as the warm weather comes I am going to be walking all the time. Really. AND from now on I am going to journal EVERYTHING I eat in this blog. That's right, everyone will be able to see what I am eating. Maybe that will keep me from eating CRAP.The thing is this.. there will always be cupcakes, and ice cream, and candy. I don't need to eat it just because it is there. SO - I won't, because if I want to be able to feel confident that's what needs to happen. End rant. "
Well.... I joined the gym tonight. It's a good idea. I have a three month membership, so I can get myself to where I want to be and when summer rolls around I can do things outdoors like walk and sports and stuff... and when the cold weather comes back I can sign up for three more months... I shall update.....
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
we're comin' back for more....
I have Jason Mraz stuck in my head, but it's not a bad thing, he can stay there as loooong as he wants.
I washed my car today. Yep, I took some warm water and car wash and sponged the ol' girl down. Then I made repeat trips to the tub and sink filling a bucket and pot with water so I could splash/pour the water on the car in hopes that it will get most of the soap off.
I don't have much to write about, as always. Things are as they are. Which is good, I guess. Kinda quiet... the mess at work has been sorted out (I think) so as of now I am staying where I am, just taking on more responsibility (as in everything) and running the office myself without the title or pay increase.... hmmm... we'll see how long that lasts.
I washed my car today. Yep, I took some warm water and car wash and sponged the ol' girl down. Then I made repeat trips to the tub and sink filling a bucket and pot with water so I could splash/pour the water on the car in hopes that it will get most of the soap off.
I don't have much to write about, as always. Things are as they are. Which is good, I guess. Kinda quiet... the mess at work has been sorted out (I think) so as of now I am staying where I am, just taking on more responsibility (as in everything) and running the office myself without the title or pay increase.... hmmm... we'll see how long that lasts.
Saturday, January 31, 2009
You can take my picture, but I won't remember
So I have decided that I am a still life [wanna be] photographer.
I am in love with this hobby. I really want to do something with it in the future.
Below are a few pics that I took:
And here are a few random pics I found online that I like (including the pic at the top of the page, I can't seem to get them where I want in this post):
I really love this one. I love the colors, and just the whole thing:
Ah, I can't wait to get to school.
Friday, January 23, 2009
Thursday, January 22, 2009
Hold on.......
I'm alone.
My apt is warm and lit with random lamps.
My music is playing. There are no other sounds besides the hum of the fridge, my fingers dancing away on the keys of my laptop, and the subtle click of the mouse.
My back hurts, and I'm thoroughly exhausted from being a part of the "inventory team" at work. I've never counted, hunted, or "checked" as much as I did these past few days. And my poor feet have never been as sore. Well, maybe that part isn't true. I DID work at a restaurant for nearly 4 years.
I feel like there should be alot more going on in my brain than there is, maybe it's just better that way.
God, my back really hurts.
That should be better. The laptop now sits uneasily on my crossed legs. What a great little luxury I own, this portable little machine.
I guess I really don't have much to write, or maybe what I should say is, I don't have much I want to write about.
How about I write about college? Well, I would like to at the very least sign up for one class. I have chosen English as that class. I need to get the basics out of the way and English is something I've always been good at and enjoyed. I know where I want to go, I know (pretty much) what my goal is. HCC offers a degree in photography. I can either get that degree, or get the core classes out of the way and transfer. I haven't made a decision on that yet, and I don't need to. I need to start. I won't have another Wednesday off for a bit, but when I do, I will be attending the "Welcome Wednedays" event there. Scott will go with me, since he wants to go there also. I will learn more about registration and such. I'm excited and scared at the same time. But this is something I need to get moving on, and I've been carrying the thought of college with me for a long time now. It's not necessarily a dark cloud above me, but almost like a little weight hanging from my leg that I've dragged along with me.
Sometimes I hate that the people I surround myself with are farther ahead of me.
Actually, I always hate it.
And I hate that I always have to pee. Can I just write about this for a minute? Why is it that I always need to pee?! I'm not small, I should have a bigger bladder than I do, right? Maybe something is wrong with me...
Anyway, I really want the good weather to come soon. This lady at work said she "can't stand the summer" and basically that she thinks winter is wonderful. PLEASE. I want to go out and take pictures. I want to ride around with my flip flops on and the sun roof open.
I want to lay on the dock in my bathing suit.
I want to swim!
I want to go to Cape Cod and spend 5 nights in that little motel with my man. I want to play mini golf and take lots of silly pictures and kiss in public and eat breakfast at the Marshland EVERY morning.
I want to stop thinking and just start feeling again. I know that sounds really cliche and corny, like something out of a typical movie. But maybe it sounds that way because alot of us have or currently feel that way. If you know what I mean, you know what I mean. If you don't get it, you're probably not one of us.
OK, really, I have to pee BAD.
I guess that means my random rant has come to a close.
My apt is warm and lit with random lamps.
My music is playing. There are no other sounds besides the hum of the fridge, my fingers dancing away on the keys of my laptop, and the subtle click of the mouse.
My back hurts, and I'm thoroughly exhausted from being a part of the "inventory team" at work. I've never counted, hunted, or "checked" as much as I did these past few days. And my poor feet have never been as sore. Well, maybe that part isn't true. I DID work at a restaurant for nearly 4 years.
I feel like there should be alot more going on in my brain than there is, maybe it's just better that way.
God, my back really hurts.
That should be better. The laptop now sits uneasily on my crossed legs. What a great little luxury I own, this portable little machine.
I guess I really don't have much to write, or maybe what I should say is, I don't have much I want to write about.
How about I write about college? Well, I would like to at the very least sign up for one class. I have chosen English as that class. I need to get the basics out of the way and English is something I've always been good at and enjoyed. I know where I want to go, I know (pretty much) what my goal is. HCC offers a degree in photography. I can either get that degree, or get the core classes out of the way and transfer. I haven't made a decision on that yet, and I don't need to. I need to start. I won't have another Wednesday off for a bit, but when I do, I will be attending the "Welcome Wednedays" event there. Scott will go with me, since he wants to go there also. I will learn more about registration and such. I'm excited and scared at the same time. But this is something I need to get moving on, and I've been carrying the thought of college with me for a long time now. It's not necessarily a dark cloud above me, but almost like a little weight hanging from my leg that I've dragged along with me.
Sometimes I hate that the people I surround myself with are farther ahead of me.
Actually, I always hate it.
And I hate that I always have to pee. Can I just write about this for a minute? Why is it that I always need to pee?! I'm not small, I should have a bigger bladder than I do, right? Maybe something is wrong with me...
Anyway, I really want the good weather to come soon. This lady at work said she "can't stand the summer" and basically that she thinks winter is wonderful. PLEASE. I want to go out and take pictures. I want to ride around with my flip flops on and the sun roof open.
I want to lay on the dock in my bathing suit.
I want to swim!
I want to go to Cape Cod and spend 5 nights in that little motel with my man. I want to play mini golf and take lots of silly pictures and kiss in public and eat breakfast at the Marshland EVERY morning.
I want to stop thinking and just start feeling again. I know that sounds really cliche and corny, like something out of a typical movie. But maybe it sounds that way because alot of us have or currently feel that way. If you know what I mean, you know what I mean. If you don't get it, you're probably not one of us.
OK, really, I have to pee BAD.
I guess that means my random rant has come to a close.
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
It's been awhile...
Alot has happened since my last entry. Scott broke his arm Thanksgiving night. Mother issues. There was that crazy ice storm that knocked out my power (and running water) for 4.5 days. More snow storms to mess the roads up and make any kind of travel feel not only incredibly slow, but dangerous.
Now Christmas Eve is tomorrow... and I feel like I missed all of December. I started getting that excited holiday feeling when Thanksgiving rolled around... and then Scott's arm snapped and with it came double the workload at home for me, and my new job as in-home nurse. I love him and would do it again, don't get me wrong, but that extra stress on top of working 7 days straight and my crazy hours (6:30-3:30 one day, 11:30-8:30 another...) made the excitement of the season sort of take a backseat... and then become altogether non-existent with the storms and the traveling to Scott's parents house to get some water and heat. Lot's of traveling now... because he is back to work and can't drive. So I find myself on the road alot more than I was. Good thing I have a reliable car. She's been good. And the gas prices make everything feel alot less stressful. At least my wallet isn't feeling it as much as I am.
I love Christmas. I wish I could have enjoyed it more. I know part of it was me. I overdid it with presents and projects. But had things gone as planned it would have been ok I think. But when does anything goes as planned? I'm learning quickly that even if I plan something 4 months in advance, something could happen completely out of my control to mess it up. Hey, that's life, right? And there are plenty of people in the boat with me.
Speaking of Christmas, I made lots of cookies. I wrapped a TON of gifts and they look lovely under my little old fashioned Charlie Brown tree. I managed to fit in some time with friends and family. And now I feel like I can relax. Tomorrow is Christmas Eve and I have nothing to do but to enjoy the day. THAT feels good. I can sleep in and wake up knowing there is nothing to do but shower and spend way too much time making myself look nice. Ahhhh, feels good just thinking about it.
Merry Christmas everyone. :)
Now Christmas Eve is tomorrow... and I feel like I missed all of December. I started getting that excited holiday feeling when Thanksgiving rolled around... and then Scott's arm snapped and with it came double the workload at home for me, and my new job as in-home nurse. I love him and would do it again, don't get me wrong, but that extra stress on top of working 7 days straight and my crazy hours (6:30-3:30 one day, 11:30-8:30 another...) made the excitement of the season sort of take a backseat... and then become altogether non-existent with the storms and the traveling to Scott's parents house to get some water and heat. Lot's of traveling now... because he is back to work and can't drive. So I find myself on the road alot more than I was. Good thing I have a reliable car. She's been good. And the gas prices make everything feel alot less stressful. At least my wallet isn't feeling it as much as I am.
I love Christmas. I wish I could have enjoyed it more. I know part of it was me. I overdid it with presents and projects. But had things gone as planned it would have been ok I think. But when does anything goes as planned? I'm learning quickly that even if I plan something 4 months in advance, something could happen completely out of my control to mess it up. Hey, that's life, right? And there are plenty of people in the boat with me.
Speaking of Christmas, I made lots of cookies. I wrapped a TON of gifts and they look lovely under my little old fashioned Charlie Brown tree. I managed to fit in some time with friends and family. And now I feel like I can relax. Tomorrow is Christmas Eve and I have nothing to do but to enjoy the day. THAT feels good. I can sleep in and wake up knowing there is nothing to do but shower and spend way too much time making myself look nice. Ahhhh, feels good just thinking about it.
Merry Christmas everyone. :)
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