Hold on.......

I'm alone.

My apt is warm and lit with random lamps.

My music is playing. There are no other sounds besides the hum of the fridge, my fingers dancing away on the keys of my laptop, and the subtle click of the mouse.

My back hurts, and I'm thoroughly exhausted from being a part of the "inventory team" at work. I've never counted, hunted, or "checked" as much as I did these past few days. And my poor feet have never been as sore. Well, maybe that part isn't true. I DID work at a restaurant for nearly 4 years.

I feel like there should be alot more going on in my brain than there is, maybe it's just better that way.

God, my back really hurts.

That should be better. The laptop now sits uneasily on my crossed legs. What a great little luxury I own, this portable little machine.

I guess I really don't have much to write, or maybe what I should say is, I don't have much I want to write about.

How about I write about college? Well, I would like to at the very least sign up for one class. I have chosen English as that class. I need to get the basics out of the way and English is something I've always been good at and enjoyed. I know where I want to go, I know (pretty much) what my goal is. HCC offers a degree in photography. I can either get that degree, or get the core classes out of the way and transfer. I haven't made a decision on that yet, and I don't need to. I need to start. I won't have another Wednesday off for a bit, but when I do, I will be attending the "Welcome Wednedays" event there. Scott will go with me, since he wants to go there also. I will learn more about registration and such. I'm excited and scared at the same time. But this is something I need to get moving on, and I've been carrying the thought of college with me for a long time now. It's not necessarily a dark cloud above me, but almost like a little weight hanging from my leg that I've dragged along with me.

Sometimes I hate that the people I surround myself with are farther ahead of me.

Actually, I always hate it.

And I hate that I always have to pee. Can I just write about this for a minute? Why is it that I always need to pee?! I'm not small, I should have a bigger bladder than I do, right? Maybe something is wrong with me...

Anyway, I really want the good weather to come soon. This lady at work said she "can't stand the summer" and basically that she thinks winter is wonderful. PLEASE. I want to go out and take pictures. I want to ride around with my flip flops on and the sun roof open.

I want to lay on the dock in my bathing suit.

I want to swim!

I want to go to Cape Cod and spend 5 nights in that little motel with my man. I want to play mini golf and take lots of silly pictures and kiss in public and eat breakfast at the Marshland EVERY morning.

I want to stop thinking and just start feeling again. I know that sounds really cliche and corny, like something out of a typical movie. But maybe it sounds that way because alot of us have or currently feel that way. If you know what I mean, you know what I mean. If you don't get it, you're probably not one of us.

OK, really, I have to pee BAD.

I guess that means my random rant has come to a close.